Friday, September 30, 2005

Moni, getchur gun!

So a few weeks ago I signed up for the Baltimore County Citizens Police Academy. So far in the class, things were pretty tame – introductory info, stuff about how they are organized, media shit, etc. But last nite, we talked about constitutional law and arrest procedures – when and how they can arrest people – so confusing! Well, not that confusing, but not just as easy as you do this for felonies or this for misdemeanors.

After this, we got to act out some scenarios! OMG it was soooo fun! I got to play a cop 2 times! And let me tell you – it was not easy! I mean first off, since I am a social worker, my first thoughts were about people lying, scheming, or being racist. Not the supposed criminals, but the store owners or people who called the cops! haha I was all like OMG wat if hes lying? Wat if the guy who called the cops is just a racist prick and wants to get the guy outta here?! Plus, the CSI/Law and Order/Murder-Mystery addict in me was all like thinking of all these crazy things that could really be going down.

Like in the first scenario... we were at a “bar” (they have this big building with different rooms that they train in! like a fake bank, an full apartment, a 7-11, etc – its all decorated and set up like a real place!) and me and this guy were the cops that had to go in and see what was going down. The call was for a guy in the bar who was supposedly carrying a weapon – maybe flashing it around. But everyone else in the “bar” was acting kinda shady – and so I was wondering if maybe the guy we were questioning wasn’t really the right guy. or if there was really some other shit going on - like the real owner being held hostage! hehe
Anywhoo, I mostly stood trying to prevent this fake gun (well, it was a real gun, but obviously jammed so that nothing could happen) from falling down my pants or trying to figure out how to hold it without lookin like a dork. :-p so in that gig, the other cop I was watching was tryin to get the guy to stop playing pool and did a frisk on him! I was like OMG wat?! I mean, he didn’t do a good one, cuz hello! How weird is that to frisk some random guy (whos also a really big guy! And a cop!) when you’ve never done that before! So yeah, he missed the gun in the guys lower pocket! Crazy. Bummer I didn’t get to frisk the guy – he was kinda hot :-p

Also, there was so much going on! You had to watch everyone in the place. And so much could happen. Like in one scenario these real cops acted out – the folks in my group that were playing cops were all a mess! haha they went on a domestic abuse call and man, within about 45 seconds, the guy had the one cop in a whole other room, the woman had a gun pointed at the other cop and then put it to her head when he pulled a gun on her! hahaha it was so crazy! In my scenarios – in a bar and a 7-11, there were so many people and I had to not only try to figure out wat was going on, watch my partners back, watch my own back, and be ready to help if things got hostile – which they did in the one situation. and i tried to help out when it got kinda crazy and it just got worse :-p the cop that critiqued us joaned on me sayin "so is that a new law in maryland? the come with me cuz your not listening to me or to him law?" hehe So uh yeah, to say the leaste, we werent successful in apprehending our shoplifter!

And can I just say… I think they have a class in like “cop talk” cuz after we’d act things out and mess up horribly, they’d demonstrate and like shift from talking normally into this almost robotic cop lingo. Like their whole tone of voice, the language they used, etc. I was like shit! How do they do that?!? I mean I dunno if they have a class in that shit – like how to talk like a cop or wat, but it was wild!

We also did a pretend traffic stop – learned a lot about how they do that to keep themselves safe and all that. Got to hear some interesting stories! Like about how the one guy pulled over some teenagers and the one kid had a little pot on him. Instead of booking him, he thought it would be good to take the kid to the parent and talk to them about it. Well he got the kid to his house and the kid hit him with a 2x4 and the cop had to spend like 10 minutes wrestling him to the ground! Crazy punk ass kid. Now how you gonna do that at your house?! They know who u are and where u live!! So dumb!

Anywhoo… its tons of fun! Next Saturday we have an extra class where we go to see the marine tactical unit and maybe the k-9 unit. and then on the 13th i get to shoot a real cop gun! wehoooO! Fun! :)


Thursday, September 29, 2005

Is that Commie I smell?

Is that Commie I smell?
So, i recently subscribed to The Nation and Mother Jones magazines. I also bought Plan of Attack and another book about the Bush family dynasty. And… I’m reading this excellent book now called “Reason: Why Liberals Will Win the War for America." I’m just getting started, but OMG such an excellent book! I'll write more on it later as I get deeper into it... (PS – Note: the title says WILL win – we certainly aren’t there yet, but more folks need to read the book! Go get it now!)

So…I guess all this makes me a full fledged commie now, huh?!?! :-p Ya well, more of us need to read more about the lunatic some call our president. and for sure more of us need to cut thru all of this bullshit in the media about all these "poor corporations who are suppossedly just on the brink of financial extinction" and the only way they can make it through is to get a little federal welfare or to raise their prices (i.e. gouging) in this "post-9-11/katrina/rita/natural disaster of the day" world. yeah...right.

So, if you're not skerred of me yet, you will be by the end of this. hahaha sike. i'm a nice girl! just a little "passionate" hehe ;) anywhoo... heres a few highlights of my recent commie readings or things that have got me outraged recently....

Choose: Guns or Butter - For Bush, facts are neither hard nor inescapable. He believes in "magical math" -- a firm understanding that somehow, in some way, something will happen to make everything come out right in the end. This is the economics practiced by the dreamy who think that today's credit card purchase will never come due. This, in a nutshell, is the financial blueprint for the United States of America.

Why are the poorest victims of Hurricane Katrina being kept out of perfectly livable homes? Roughly 70,000 of New Orleans' poorest homeless evacuees could move back to the city alongside returning white homeowners, without a single new structure being built... In the areas that sustained only minor damage and are on the mayor's repopulation list, there are at least 11,600 empty apartments and houses. If Jefferson Parish is included, that number soars to 23,270. With three people in each unit, that means homes could be found for roughly 70,000 evacuees. With the number of permanently homeless city residents estimated at 200,000, that's a significant dent in the housing crisis. And it's doable.

Speaking of housing... FEMA criticized for cruise ship deal - If the ships were at capacity, with 7,116 evacuees, for six months, the price per evacuee would total $1,275 a week, according to calculations by aides to Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.). A seven-day western Caribbean cruise out of Galveston can be had for $599 a person — and that would include entertainment and the cost of actually making the ship move. "When the federal government would actually save millions of dollars by forgoing the status quo and actually sending evacuees on a luxurious six-month cruise it is time to rethink how we are conducting oversight. A short-term temporary solution has turned into a long-term, grossly overpriced sweetheart deal for a cruise line," said Coburn and Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.).

FEMA criticized?!? Shocker! I wonder why!? Could it be that moron horse’s ass Brownie! Brown resigned on September 12 as Under Secretary of Homeland Security for Emergency Preparedness and Response after two weeks of intense criticism of FEMA's response to Katrina and questions about his qualifications to lead the agency. But Brown told lawmakers Tuesday he is still being paid as a consultant to help FEMA assess what went wrong.
Oh yeah, that asswipe who only goes around blaming other folks is REALLy gonna HELP assess what went wrong. Can I please get paid to do some of this shit?! I can just as easily go around making shit up and blaming folk! And I bet you I’d charge a more reasonable consulting fee! WTF!!!! Wat kinda shit is this!?!?!?

Oh yeah, its Bush’s favorite thing! - Cronyism! #*&(#@!*($# GRRRRR!! Listen to Daniel Shorr's commentary on this...

Monday, September 26, 2005

Top breeders recommend...me!?!?

And now for a little levity...and a weird picture! hehe

Sloganize your name!
Go to www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi and type in your name and click the sloganize button.

Top Breeders Recommend Monica

:-p

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Evil-wishers...

Deep Thoughts

Evil-wishers are always around to spread rumors.

This was the title of a spam message in my inbox this morning. so random! Is it a message from God? A virtual fortune cookie? It seems too deep to just some weird insignificant message from a spambot!

Anywhoo.... speaking of evil. OMG did you catch the new Martha Stewart Apprentice show last nite?! That young guy David is intriguing - hes 22, just out of college, and runs 2 companies!!!!
and that evil guy Jeff... what a complete lunatic!!!!! I was SO glad that they fired his ass. I do admit that Dawn had some issues freaking out with all the "noise" and stuff - she should have just found a quiet room if thats what she needed - no way was she going to get a library atmosphere in the midst of all those characters! But that guy
Jeff... what in the hell!?!?!? I have never seen someone whos suppossedly an adult and suppossedly a professional act like that!!! He was so awful! I'm so surprised people didnt slap the shit outta him! I might have had to take him down he was so ridiculous!


What I want to know though... there were no qualified African-American people?!? All of the contestants are white folk, except for one Asian woman! ... oh, and one woman lives in Mexico - so maybe shes hispanic? I dunno, I mean Martha is pretty white-bread, but seems lame to me how undiverse it is.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

left behind...

I am so disturbed by this! I hate that people were chose to or worse, were forced to leave behind their pets during Hurricane Katrina. Police rescuing people but making them leave behind their pets?!? and we’re not talking a few animals… estimates are that there are 10,000 animals in the New Orleans area - based on about a million people there, if one out of every 10 persons has a pet.

First of all, these are animals that don't have the skills to necessarily fend for themselves. Dogs chained outside a hospital??? How in the HELL are they going to survive without the ability to move around?

More so, why do we value their lives less? These are living, breathing beings! Even if you think human life is more important than animals, how could you be ok with this when having to leave pets behind is such an intensely traumatizing experience for people!!

I don't care what I'd have to do; there is NO way in hell I'd leave behind my cats. Not that I am blaming people who did leave their pets behind… I know some people thought this would be a short storm and they’d be back in a few days to be with their pets… and I know that others were in fact forced to leave them. But there is no way in hell I could even do it. I’d have a nervous breakdown! I'd sleep in my car or even outside if I couldn't find a place that would shelter me and the cats. I’d be like that guy who stood on a chair holding his cat for 3 days! (tho I have no idea how I’d hold 3 of them :-p but I’d try!) or this guy walking through the water! …or this woman walking down the highway with her cat in a cart!

The intro in this Newsweek article says it all to me…. "Hurricane Katrina killed hundreds and destroyed billions of dollars in property. For many victims, their animals are all they have left." I know the feeling. When there was a fire in my apartment a few years back, the only thing I wanted to know immediately was how my cats were.

More articles and resources

yeeechhhhhh!

True or False? The "Luther Burger," a bacon cheeseburger served on a Krispy Kreme doughnut, is a real food named after R&B singer Luther Vandross.

True. While the jury is out on whether or not this was really invented by Luther Vandross, it is named after him and it IS a real burger! Served up by Mulligan's - a suburban bar in Decatur, Georgia, this heart-attack special consists of a bacon cheeseburger served on a glazed Krispy Kreme doughnut! Sometimes they even use two Krispy Kreme's!

Not debaucherous enough? Try Mulligan's real devil... the Hamdog.
This doozy is a hot dog wrapped in a beef patty that's deep fried, covered with chili, cheese and onions, and served on a hoagie bun topped with a fried egg and two fistfuls of fries!!!!!!!!! yeeech!!!! I wonder if this comes with a bottle of Tums for desert???
Still not crazy enough? Try the 11-POUND Ye Olde 96'er burger at Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub in Clearfield, Pa.

The craziest part? That guy – whos finished off 49 doughnuts in 8 minutes - couldn’t finish it, but a 115-pound college chick did!!!!

Not to be outdone, the owner has now introduced a 15-pound burger - the Beer Barrel Belly Buster!!! Care to give it shot? The person who can eat this monster wins $350 cash, a certificate of achievement, a t-shirt, their photo on "wall of fame," and of course, the burger is free.

oy, my tummy hurts just thinking about it! Ack!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Meet The F**kers

Yes, my fellow Americans, Meet The F**kers – those wonderful people we call our “leaders”. I prefer “F**kers” – definitely a more accurate description.

Thank God that numnutz Michael "Brownie" Brown resigned! Sad though that the Bush administration likely told him to resign, God forbid they actually admit that hiring people with no relevant experience (except they're in your good ‘ol boy network and willingness to kiss ass) just might not be a good idea!

So, while the new acting head of FEMA actually has emergency experience (brilliant idea!), the Bush crew keeps on with its nepotismBush Allies Getting Katrina Work: Companies with ties to the White House among the first awarded reconstruction deals.

If you haven't seen this yet, check out A Moral Moment - a speech given by former Vice President Al Gore, addressing the challenges and moral imperatives posed by Hurricane Katrina and global warming.
The Bible says, "Where there is no vision, the people perish." The Bush administration has no vision. So the people perish.
More commentary...

In other shitty news... Children Made to Sleep in Cages in Ohio

Thursday, September 08, 2005

shut the f*ck up

Barbara Bush, ex-first lady and mother-of-the-president, said during a visit to the Hurricane Katrina refugee shelter in the Houston Astrodome:

What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them.

I mean what the fuck is wrong with these "underpriviliged" people anyway? I mean you ONLY went through one of the greatest natural disasters to date, lost all that you had, including family members and pets, lived for days without food, water, electricity, or toilets. and you ONLY has to survive by "lawlessly looting" if you were black ("gathering for survival" if u were white), live in knee-deep piles of shit while women and children were being raped and then shipped off to some other state, seperated from what family you hadn't already lost to live with 25,000 other people. I mean come on you stupid poor people! You interrupted your presidents vacation! he was happy just chillin and sippin on delicious oil-tini's watching his wealth rise while oil and gas prices shot up. What the hell is wrong with you, dumbass refugees!? We've given you a few bottles of water and some army meals. those are so tasty! so shut the hell up and be happy with what we give you (or more likely, tell you we will give you shit, but only when we can figure out the "logistics" of it). or better yet, stop sitting around on your stupid asses and go out and work for it. i mean, hell, the hurricane is over people! stop looking for a handout! sheesh.

oh, and PS...i would never say this out loud because that just would'nt be right... but don't expect to come home to anything resembling the NOLA you knew. We will pretend to use the billions to rebuild a city with room for rich and poor, but really we just want you idiots out so we can have the prime real estate near the coast! in other words..."Now the developers have their big chance to disperse the obstacle to gentrification - poor people."

REALITY CHECK!

  • Listen to the clip of Barbara Bush from NPRs Market-place. Audio recordings of both the finished segment and the original, unedited interview are online.
  • Whoopsi Gras
  • Macabre Reminder: The Corpse on Union Street: Scraggly residents emerge from waterlogged wood to say strange things, and then return into the rot. Cars drive the wrong way on the Interstate and no one cares. Fires burn, dogs scavenge, and old signs from les bons temps have been replaced with hand-scrawled threats that looters will be shot dead.
  • The Real Costs of a Culture of Greed
and now for something positive... While Vice President Dick Cheney toured damage from Hurricane Katrina in Gulfport, Mississippi, a heckler shouted out to him, 'Go fuck yourself, Mr. Cheney! Go fuck yourself.'

could it get any more surreal and ridiculous?!?!

Barbara Bush, ex-first lady and mother-of-the-president, said during a visit to the Hurricane Katrina refugee shelter in the Houston Astrodome:

What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them.

This must be another example of Shock and Awe that Bush loves so dearly.

Can't believe it? Listen to the clip from NPRs Marketplace. Audio recordings of both the finished segment and the original, unedited interview are available online.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

mhainesWho are you

hmm.... who AM i? WHO am i? who am I? wouldn't you like to know! ok, maybe not, but the spambot who sent this mysterious message would. i think. ok maybe not. but it did get me thinking... who am i really? what is the meaning of all of this thing we call life?

sike hahaha but that shit is funny when u open it in the morning and someones like "who are you!?" and then i'm like "oh shit! ack! i dunno! who am i!? oh...wait its just some dumb spam...hmm...spam wat the hell IS spam?... who thought that up and why? and wat about pig brains, how can they sell that shit and why in such a small can and who eats that crap? yuck. yuck .... wat the heck kinda word is that??!? who made that shit up? yuck yuck yuck. sounds kinda weird, tho i kinda like the clucky sound of it. reminds me of muck. one time when i was young i was at our house on the eastern shore and i was playin outside by the dock in the poopy sludge mickity muck and i got stuck! and my mom thought it was funny. she just laughed watching me try to get unstuck from the muck! she also thought it was funny when i was afraid of that evil horse at our house in Daisy, MD and i was trying to pick up tires and put it in the trunk of my car (don't ask me! it wasnt my idea! im sure my dad wanted me to do that, tho i don't know why tires were even in the darn horse field anyways!) and every time i picked up a tire and started to take it the darn horse would start to walk my way (not even run! he was SO old! haha) and i would be like ack! and jump in the car and Jake the dog was around still then (he was so cool - totally like a groove-me-daddy-o chill kinda dog) and he would jump in the car with me and then the horse would walk away and then i'd try again and then the same shit would happen. so wat does mom do? pulls out the video camera and films that shit! the video is hilarious cuz not only do i look totally goofy but my mom is snortin and laughin and the camera is all shaky and shit. its definitely a classic. a must see. i wonder if i could get it shown at the Senator Theatre. then i could get my name in the sidewalk! wehoo!" ... yeah so uhm... welcome to my morning!

PS - there is some wackass photo clipart out there. i looked up the word "idea" today and this is what i got... what?!?!?!

write you're own caption! what does this picture SAY to you?

Monday, September 05, 2005

tres y tres

33 baby, thats me! just about an hour and a half and 33 years ago i busted forth to start the partaaay! A true nite owl from the beginning.

so yeah, i had a great time this weekend - went to see The Constant Gardener, which was great! The Senator (where we saw the film) was awesome - great art deco design, but i had an 8 foot tall woman in front of me who believed in totally propor posture! i was so ready to samurai chop her head off! Then i went to the mall with Karin and her bf Pramit. I went to Nordstrom Rack and got this tight suede jacket - dark red, my color. So that was my bday splurge for this year. ;)

Then, Sunday, Angie threw me a bomb ass bbq party. Thanks Angie! So cool! I was so happy she offered to do that - was a ton of fun! So Karin, Shirley, Cody, Jake and me piled into the car and headed down to angies house. It was awesome! I got to see Aaron G - my good friend from way back in the day - he and i used to run around senior year, hollerin about don't do drugs! don't drink! hahaha uh, i think we've since moved on from that tip. hehe [disclaimer: if ur a teenager, just say no!! safe sex!!!] haha Anywhoo... hes still the same hilarious crazy man. looks great! all tan and shit. Terry was there too, so we of course all went on and on about all the crazy things we did back then. Crazeeeeeeeeeeeee hahaha I think Karin was like OMG ack! hehe Later in the party, my amigo Ryan showed up. it was good to see him - havent seen him in a long time. which is crazy, since hes a good person. It was funny tho - he had these total granola shoes on and is all doing some cool activism stuff - i was like sheesh ur like i used to be! ur becoming a lesbian! haha Jolene and Mohamed came also and then Candice showed up! a total surprise!!!!! i was so happy to see her! i had no idea! She was hilarious as usual - so funny always teasin her bf and shit. so ya, that was a great surprise! we had tons of great food including delicious burgers angie made! and best of all, with really good friends. so, definitely a great party! thanks to everyone who made it out!

today, i just chilled - got my sleep on, watched a movie, got a bday song from mom, talked to buddy, and talked to Justine! i cant believe it - shes 3 weeks from having her 2nd baby! her lil girl is already two! crazy how time flys. wild shit.

so, anywhoo... i had a great bday weekend - alot less crazy than last year (but thats a blessing! haha i went a lil too crazeeee last year. tee hee). thanks everyone! :-)

TODAY'S BIRTHDAY (September 5). The sensational news at the top of your year puts you on a roll. You can't help but execute life improvements in October. Loved ones want to be part of your winning plan, but you must teach them what to do. Financial challenges in November are a blessing in disguise. You have breezy and beneficial connections with Aries and Taurus. Your lucky numbers are: 30, 45, 2, 19 and 51.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

at a loss...

can someone please just explain this to me!!?!??!? I mean on top of all the other misery I've seen today about the folks in New Orleans, now more and more reports of this... Armed gangs attempting rapes, police warn.

Uhm... what? WHAT?!?!?! I just do NOT understand it. and its just too much to bear. I mean sitting here praying for people to get help as soon as possible from the outside and then u read this shit. rape?! fucking rape?!?!?!? what?!?!?!

I mean given that rape is an act of power and folks stranded down there are desperate and emotionally and physically overwhelmed by the conditions... are these rapes a response to all of that? People having nothing in the midst of chaos doing something just to have some sense of power and control? Or is this just pure evil?

I don't get it. I just don't get it. and I am absolutely devestated by the thought of those who are dealing with such evil actions.

loss. chaos. desperation.

Man it has really turned into something crazy down in New Orleans – turning into complete chaos.

There’s violence. A hospital had to stop evacuation after sniper fire. Officers stranded on the roof of a hotel and a military helicopter were shot at. When an evacuation helicopter tried to land at a hospital, 100 people were on the landing pad, some with guns. A man fatally shot his sister in the head over a bag of ice in Hattiesburg, Miss. And now, reports of women and children are being raped. (raped!!!!! what the f*k is that!??!?)


There’s looting. Most people have entered stores getting essentials like toothpaste, toothbrushes, diapers, formula, food, water, shoes, clothes. Some have stolen useless items like microwave ovens and jewelry (to sell? mob mentality?). But now, some have resorted to stealing weapons - guns and knives.

There’s death. An old woman, dead in a wheelchair with a blanket draped over her, was pushed up against a wall – another person dead, wrapped in a blanket on the ground next to her. Rescue workers continued to push bodies aside Wednesday as they used boats and helicopters to search for survivors. Reporters are seeing people – including two babies die from dehydration in front of them. A man jumped off of a ledge in the Superdome - killing himself after he apparently learned that his home had been destroyed.


There’s chaos. Thousands of people - from babies only days old to elderly residents in their 90s - spent the night sleeping on the street or sidewalk. Toilets are overflowing. Feces are on the ground. Sewage is spilled all around. New Orleans police are siphoning gas from abandoned vehicles in an effort to keep their squad cars running.


There’s
desperation. People are being told to evacuate, they walk through water or find a way to get to the Superdome, but then there are no buses available and people are being turned away. A woman near the Superdome handed her 2-month-old baby to someone who had managed to get on a bus to Houston, begging her to take care of the baby. People are saying, "Don't leave us here to die. We are stuck here. Why can't they send the buses? Are they going to leave us here to die?"

Good lord. This situation is beyond words - beyond horribly sad at how savage things have become....and disgusting at how little leadership Bush is showing (not that I'm shocked about that), but he needs to do more than say "help is on the way (sometime)...everything will be ok...sometime" and ignore the gas situation (tho why should he care, he'll get rich on higher gas prices).


Why is this happening? Is this a normal response to this kind of situation? Or is something different going on? Heres an interesting article that looks at the situation and asks “When, if ever, is looting OK? When is it acceptable to break the law — and what happens when law itself breaks down?” Another article reminds us that this is a drastic situation, survival instincts are kicking in – sometimes into overdrive. This Guardian article goes into this more..."For those left in New Orleans, the city of a likely thousand corpses... there must be little impulse to do anything other than look after themselves.... Some stayed in the city out of choice, but the majority did so because they did not have the means to evacuate. It is likely that the greatest numbers of the dead will be concentrated in the poorest classes of New Orleans." The author goes on to remind us of the need to focus on the PEOPLE and their need for immediate help and not the fact that those who already had little and now have nothing are raiding a wal-mart.

I pray these people quickly get help. Water. food. Shelter. Medical care. Thankfully
some are going to help if they can. There are some happy endings of families reuniting. Others are donating – money, blood, supplies, whatever they can.

I wish I had the time to go and help. It is so hard to sit and watch such horrific scenes.